A lot of the time lately, I feel like I am foundering. I have a lot of great plans, goals, and ideas but I lack the follow-thru. As a result, I feel like a bad wife, mom, and friend, and I feel like I'm failing not only those in my life, but myself as well.
I don't know if it's because of the way in which I go about things or just a fundamental lack inside myself but I do know that I'm really tired of feeling like a failure and I'm determined to change the situation.
I am done allowing life to control me. It's time to really take stock and make the changes that I so desperately want and need in my life.
If you are reading this, you are most likely a part of my life and someone I care about. Please know that my lack of follow thru has nothing to do with you but with my own shortcomings. I commit to myself and to you now that these things WILL change. Not tomorrow, not next Monday, not on the first of the month, but TODAY.
Love and light to you all...the best is yet to come!
J.
I keep thinking I should write a new blog post but stuff keeps changing so fast that whatever I would have written would have been outdated by the next day.
Things are not going very well right now for me and I am frustrated. I have a lot of options but I am so unsure which way to go. I've had many people tell me to stop pushing in this direction or that direction but I can't seem to reconcile it in my head. I mean, I could just sit here but I don't see how that would change anything. And, yes, I do believe in God and know that he will provide but I also believe that I have to do the work in order to get to where I need to be. How do I know when I am pushing to hard for something I want as opposed to what I need?
As I sit here in this moment, there are several options (or paths, if you will) that I could take in order to help make things better for my family. The problem is knowing which one to really focus on. I can't get really specific here, but in general I am referring to which direction I should be taking my career in order to a) better provide for my family and b) have less stress about work.
This is about how many options I have right now:
And while I am extremely grateful that I have so very many options, I have no idea which way to turn and that in itself is frustrating and stressful. I have spoken to trusted friends, my husband, and God. No one has given me any concrete answers. I do know that if I sit and do nothing I will not like where the current path is leading. I know this is all vague but I think you can still get the gist of what I am saying.
So, for today: I have done all I can do. Today is for me. I will run. I will play. I will try not to focus on all the negative things that have been happening lately and will instead focus on what is good. I really am a very lucky woman. I need to stop letting the relatively unimportant things weigh me down.
Peace! ☮
