Choosing a Path

I keep thinking I should write a new blog post but stuff keeps changing so fast that whatever I would have written would have been outdated by the next day. 

Things are not going very well right now for me and I am frustrated.  I have a lot of options but I am so unsure which way to go.  I've had many people tell me to stop pushing in this direction or that direction but I can't seem to reconcile it in my head.  I mean, I could just sit here but I don't see how that would change anything.  And, yes, I do believe in God and know that he will provide but I also believe that I have to do the work in order to get to where I need to be.  How do I know when I am pushing to hard for something I want as opposed to what I need?

As I sit here in this moment, there are several options (or paths, if you will) that I could take in order to help make things better for my family.  The problem is knowing which one to really focus on.  I can't get really specific here, but in general I am referring to which direction I should be taking my career in order to a) better provide for my family and b) have less stress about work.

This is about how many options I have right now:

And while I am extremely grateful that I have so very many options, I have no idea which way to turn and that in itself is frustrating and stressful.  I have spoken to trusted friends, my husband, and God.  No one has given me any concrete answers.  I do know that if I sit and do nothing I will not like where the current path is leading.  I know this is all vague but I think you can still get the gist of what I am saying.

So, for today:  I have done all I can do.  Today is for me.  I will run.  I will play.  I will try not to focus on all the negative things that have been happening lately and will instead focus on what is good.  I really am a very lucky woman.  I need to stop letting the relatively unimportant things weigh me down.

Peace! ☮

A new year means a new start

In a few short hours it is going to be 2013.  To some, it's no big deal, just another year.  To others, including yours truly, when the clock strikes midnight it will mean that not only is it a new year but also the dawning of a new era.  A year in which there will be many changes, hopefully for the good.  This is my year for true Mommy Misadventures!

In 2013, I am going waaaay outside my comfort zone (along with going outside my timezone).  The girl who hates change will be making one of the biggest changes of her life.  To say I wasn't apprehensive would be a lie...I'm pretty scared.  Last New Year's Eve, I was full of plans for 2012, most of which ended up getting derailed because I have no grace.  I missed races, was (and still am) unable to run, and gained weight back that I thought was lost forever.  Most of the summer was spent injured and taking care of a husband who battled numerous kidney stones.  And the best part of the year was entering that new and wonderful phase of life called peri-menopause (can you feel the sarcasm dripping off the page??).

This coming year is going to be different.

I can see you all (all meaning my 1 follower... hi Katie!!) shaking your heads and smirking.  I have found that God tends to have a sense of humor and answers my prayers and plans with His idea of how it should be.  So, how will this year be different?

I'll tell you how.  I will be different.  It's only taken me 47 years to figure out that the only thing I can change is me... and how I react to the situations (and people) in my life.  Instead of reacting, I plan to act.  I may not be able to control anything else around me but I can certainly control my own emotions and attitudes.

Tomorrow I plan on setting some specific goals for myself.  As of right now I just know in my heart that I want to be a better person.  I know I can get there.

For now, I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year.  Hug someone special.  Smile at a stranger.

Peace

Thank you, God

Tonight will be a short post...today was an even longer day than yesterday if that's possible!  Darn full moon strikes again.

I want to give a shout out to Kate, my one and only follower...thanks to her, I had 44 page views yesterday!  I guess I better start writing interesting stuff, huh?

No news on the Hawaii front today.  Not surprising since it's a holiday weekend.  For these few days I'm concentrating on work, homework, and my grandson's birthday party on Monday.  My plan is to call them on Tuesday.

For those of you who are walking into this in the middle (which is similar to turning on the tv in the middle of a show), the cliff notes version is while we are definately planning to move in June, my dream job popped up on my search engine last month so it was decided that I'd apply for it.  The job is a residency program for seasoned critical care nurses to cross train to ER.  Anyway, I've passed a pharmacology test and had a phone interview with the educator and now I'm waiting on a video interview to be set up.  Waiting a long time and getting frustrated.  I just keep telling myself that what happens is what is supposed to happen and even if I don't get this job, we are definately going to Hawaii in June.  Did I accidently pray for patience?!

I did learn one thing today.  I went to work today with the mindset that I may as well have a positive attitude because positive or negative I was going to have to be there anyway.  What I learned was that when I have thoughts like that, God likes to have a little giggle at my expense.  All in good fun, right?  Everytime I turned around, something new was thrown at me making it very hard to keep that smile glued in place.  Gotta love Him, right?  The smile is still there, albeit a little crooked, and I have only one more day to work before my days off.

Take time to laugh today.  Tell someone you appreciate them.  And in the words of my grandma (as said to me everytime I complained about something):  "Have you thanked God for that?"

Peace.