Is it ever possible?

Is it ever possible to find a place in this world where one can be one's self?  I have been finding lately that it is much easier for me to be silent than to be myself, make jokes, be angry or hurt... or whatever I'm feeling...than it is to share with people.  I offend when I don't mean to or become the bad guy when I try to help.  Even with my family and friends, the people I'm supposed to be able to be open with.  In the end, I end up feeling rotten and alone.

Case in point.  A nurse at work made a mistake.  Not a big mistake but something that needed to be corrected.  I took her aside to tell her the right way to do it and she cried.  I made her cry.  I didn't mean to and I thought I was being nice.  I went home feeling like the meanest person in the world.

I can't tell my grown kids when they hurt me without being the bad guy.  I can't talk to my husband about things that are bothering me because he doesn't see it as I do.  I can't joke with my friends to blow off steam because then I am insensitive.

So I will sit quietly.  Keep what I think and feel to myself.  Eventually, it won't matter anymore.