Not a post for everyone

This isn't a weight loss blog but since it's a blog about me and my life it will definitely include some weight stuff.  Fair warning for this post...if you don't want to hear about weight or fitness, this is a post to skip.

I had a rude awakening yesterday when I casually hopped on the scale.  I hadn't really been paying attention to anything weight related for awhile...not since I broke my toe in June, actually.  I still went to the gym to work with the trainer but I couldn't run and I ate pretty much whatever I wanted.  This wouldn't have been an issue 10 years ago but at 47 years old things have sure changed.  In 4 months I've packed on 20+ pounds.  I'm uncomfortable, nothing fits right, my endurance is shot, and I just feel yucky.  I hate looking at myself in the mirror.  When I saw that number on the scale yesterday (my heaviest weight EVER) I just wanted to curl in a ball and cry.  I didn't even weigh this much when I was full term pregnant!

I allowed myself to feel sorry for myself for about 5 minutes and then I went into action.  I joined Weight Watchers Online with the idea that paying for it would make me actually use it.  Today I saw my trainer and worked the hardest I've worked since my injury, including running a mile at race pace (sort of).  I huffed and puffed and poured sweat but I didn't complain once and I did what was asked of me.  Tomorrow I may not be able to lift my arms but moving is just over-rated right?

I tracked all my food today and went out and bought fruits and veggies for the next 2 days.  More than that and it will go bad so I'll just have to deal with shopping every couple days.

I've had so much water today that I slosh when I walk and have spent way too much time in the bathroom.

The thing is, I could continue to feel sorry for myself for this physical mess I am in, beating myself up and giving up saying I can't do it...but I can't do that.  It's not in me and now I feel challenged.  I WILL get to where I want to be.  I will be healthy and strong and beautiful.  I will make my family proud and I will be around when my youngest grows up.  I've faced many things in my life and I will not let extra weight be the death of me, literally or figuratively.

Oh, and for those who are wondering, I have 59 pounds to lose.  It is not a Biggest Loser amount but it seems like a lot to me when I am staring at the starting line.

I won't bore you in every post about this side of my journey...I know it can probably get old to people who don't understand how important this can be.  I've decided that since Mondays are my weigh in day, I'll save all my weight related updates for that day and have my regular post content the rest of the time (whatever the heck that is!).

Now go drink some water!

Peace