Tears Today

I try very hard to maintain a positive attitude amidst so much upheaval.  I realize I am very blessed to have so much support from family and friends and that my husband was able to ask for help before it was too late.  Sometimes, though, the frustration with the situation and things I have no control over just wears me down and I can't help but cry.

I understand that my husband did some wrong things.  But I also know what kind of person he is.  He is a good man and has done everything he can to rehabilitate himself and make up for the things he did.  I don't know how much more he could do and I am so very very proud of him. 

What I don't understand is how our system that is supposed to protect society at the same time it rehabilitates those who break our laws can say that my husband deserves prison time and that he does not deserve a second chance.  The City says it "doesn't want to send the wrong message" by showing mercy and allowing him to return to his job.  Well I say, what message does it want to send?  Is the message that someone can make a mistake, admit it, and take the steps to right the wrong not good enough for them?  In "making an example" of T, they show others that may suffer from the disease of addiction or alcoholism that they have no way out.  They have no one to turn to for help because if they do, they will be punished instead of getting the help they need to enter recovery and to again become functioning members of society.

If I sound bitter, it is because I am.  Today, I cried because of the injustice of it all.  Drug dealers, child abusers, and murderers go free every day all across this country but my husband who freely admitted to his problem, turned himself in, and sought help...a man who gave the last 16 years of his life to serving this community, saving countless lives is facing possible prison time and at the very least probation and unemployability.  Our family is being punished right along with him.  My heart breaks knowing the pain this causes him, above and beyond the actual crime so I try so very hard to be strong for him.  The last thing I want to do is to cause him anymore pain.

Next week he will enter a plea of guilty and ask the court for mercy.  We have no idea what is going to happen.  I realize we are in this place because of his actions but there also comes a time when one needs to stop looking at things in black and white and start seeing the shades of grey.  My husband deserves mercy and forgiveness.  He deserves another chance.  I pray that he gets it.

Peace ☮