So, I wanted to post on Sunday but since I made a trade at work and ended up working 3 in a row I was just too tired.
I haven't been too lazy though! I am slowly making my way back into the world of fitness and eating better. The eating part isn't too difficult...I actually like healthy food and I'm content with an occasional treat. My trick is to not keep the junk in the house. Eventually, the craving passes. When I do have a treat then I plan it and make sure there are no leftovers. Sometimes T will bring home stuff but I try to ignore it.
For the sake of transparency, I had a cookie last night. The miracle was that I only had one and I was actually fine with that!
See, I have to be careful on how I handle my diet and my relationship with food. I don't know when it started but one day I realized that I was hiding my food intake from family and friends. I waited to eat until after T and B were in bed or left for work/school. At work, if there were treats in the break room I wouldn't eat any if there was anyone there. I ate a lot of fast food in the car. By a lot I mean 3 meals in one sitting. Enough to feel sick.
I alternated my secret binges with extreme healthy eating and tracking my food down to the teaspoon.
None of it was healthy and all of it made me feel horrible both mentally and physically. Mix in there over exercising and setting unrealistic goals and you have my life for the last year or so. I have what's called orthorexia. Orthorexia is an obsession with eating foods that one considers healthy; a medical condition in which the sufferer systematically avoids specific foods in the belief that they are harmful.
It's taken me a couple months to adjust to not practicing my particular brand of Hell but I've slowly been crawling out of my hole and living a lifestyle that I am proud of most of the time. It's not all puppies and rainbows but it's a lot healthier than it was before. I'll save the how's for another post. This one has gotten a little emotional for me, just writing it all out.
Here's this week's check in:
I ran a total of 7 miles, some of them with my new running partner Dawn. She is awesome and is helping me to stay accountable.
That's us :)
I've mostly been logging my food. I missed yesterday but will start again tomorrow. I've been on point with moderation. I'm eating healthy but I'm allowing myself to have the occasional cookie or ice cream. Life is too short, isn't it?
Today I started a work out program on the Jillian Michael's app. It's called the Gauntlet. I'll admit that I didn't even look at it because the name said to me that I was incapable of anything like that. But then she (Jillian) talked about it on her latest podcast. It's a year long program that starts from the beginning level and progresses as you do. The work out was hard today (I was only able to do a sit up with B sitting on my feet) but I did it! I'm excited about progressing.
I have a day one progress pic but I have been fighting with my phone, apple, itunes, and my laptop for hours and I give up. It's dinner time. I will post it on Saturday with my race pics!
peace <3
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