Some thoughts on being a mom

While this isn't my first rodeo, I've never claimed to be a mom expert.  Personally, I think we are all experts on our own children.

That said, I've noticed a disturbing trend in parenting lately.  This over-thinking of every little thing we do as parents.  Everyday in my Facebook feed I see articles on what we as parents are doing wrong.  Then there are the sactimommy articles that tell us how they are better moms than the rest of us because of (fill in parenting rule here).  Many times these articles imply that we suck as parents because we just don't care as much for our kids as the authors do.

Here's what I think after raising 4 fairly successful kids (2 in the Army, 1 catering manager, and 1 911 dispatcher):  Sometimes we just need to relax.  Now, those who know me know that I am the LEAST relaxed person on the face of the earth...or at least in the Midwest.  I get anxious about everything, second guess myself, and drive T nuts when I am trying to make an informed decision.  
The thing is, I am not that way when it comes to my parenting.  My kids watched too much tv (B still does).  I didn't enroll them in a ton of activities (who could afford it for so many kids?!).  I yelled, a lot, and made threats I couldn't follow through on:  "if you touch your sister again I will duct tape you to the wall".

I understand that this is a different world we're raising B in than it was when I raised my 4 older kids.  It's not as safe.  We know more about a lot of stuff.  We have safer carseats, better helmets, and we are generally better informed about everything.  I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing.  What I do think is that society and "experts" are making it harder to parent instead of easier.

I don't read parenting books.  I tried to and realized that all they did was make me feel like a failure.  I compared my life to that non-existent ideal world that is generally portrayed in that type of thing.  To be honest, I think those "experts" and books are what's messing up this up and coming generation.

Parenting is truly not that hard.  Love them.  Show them by your own behavior what it means to be a decent person.  Teach them the consequences of their actions, even if it means being the "bad guy".  And when it's time, let them go.

Some days B will watch too much tv because I am tired or need to get stuff done and that's ok.  She survives on grilled cheese sandwiches because that's all she will eat, and that's ok.  Sometimes she cries because I don't give her what she wants and that's ok, too.

In the end, I want all my kids to be strong, loving, tolerant, and hard-working adults.  I may not get there like you do but that doesn't mean we won't all (mostly) get there.  I just choose to enjoy my journey instead of feeling guilty about the choices I make. 

As parents, especially moms, we should be building each other up instead of tearing each other down.  One great thing about parenting today is the additional resource of the internet and the support and commiseration we can find there.  Instead of using it as a way to feel superior to other moms, how about we just use it as a way to be there for each other during one of the easiest hardest times of our lives.