Out with the old

I woke up this morning in a mood.  I'm not sure what kind, but it was definitely a mood.  The last week I've been working a lot.  When I wasn't working, I was trying (and failing) to catch up with household stuff.  As a result, my house is a mess, my laundry baskets are full, and my refrigerator is empty.  This morning, in the relative quiet of my one day off, I had some time to reflect on what I want and don't want in my life.  Rather deep thoughts pre-coffee, I must say!

One thought that was crystal clear was that I am tired of clutter.  Counters full of dishes, things piled upon things, rooms that have fallen to disuse because they became storage for junk we never use, and 1000+ emails.

This is how I felt this morning:

 

So, after getting a load of laundry in and pouring myself some coffee, I did the unprecedented.  I deleted all but 17 of those emails.  Every blog post, every sale email, every recipe I'll never make, went into the trash.  It was both scary and freeing at the same time.  I can now start the new year with one area of my life cleaned out and clutter free.

 

 

 

I am the first to admit that I have trouble letting things go.  I find comfort in things and have attached some sort of memory or feeling to just about everything I own.  I also have an irrational fear of getting rid of something and then finding that I need it a week later.  I guess times of financial insecurity have taken their toll on my psyche.  Things aren't the only thing that are hard to let go.  I hold onto hurt and anger much longer than I should.  I've lost friendships because I couldn't get past my hurt feelings.

 

I don't know how to heal the damage done or take away the fear of being without but I am trying with baby steps to make a better life for not only myself but my kids.  The email clean out, while just a small step, is a step nonetheless.

 

I have high hopes for 2014.  It's time to take some positive action before it's too late.  It's time to discover what is possible instead of feeling like everything is impossible.  It's time to live instead of merely surviving.

 

Peace, my friends ☮