Yes, It's Been Awhile

I make no excuses...life just sometimes gets away from me.  I hope my 2 followers will forgive me :)

The planning and packing for the move is steadily moving forward.  I have officially put in notice at work (my last day is April 25th) and I've been gathering all the information needed to start as a travel nurse in Hawaii.  To say I am not a bit nervous would be a lie...I'm bordering on terrified some days.  I want this to work and to make this move not only fun and adventurous but also successful.  I keep telling myself that I'd rather do it and fail then to regret not doing it but it is still so scary to pick up and go so far away, into a fairly uncertain future.  It has definately kicked up my anxiety a notch!

So, let's see...where exactly are we in the process?  Well, as I said, I've turned in notice and am registered with a nurse travel agency.  Half the hotel reservations for our epic cross country adventure are made.  I'm on the verge of reserving a Hawaiian condo (waiting on a return email).  The movers have been booked.  And I've started packing.

I've discovered something while packing.  Something my family has probably known for years.  I am a mini-hoarder.  I have a lot of trouble letting go of things because I attach meaning to them.  Sometimes it's very personal, like the things I have of Joey's.  My love for him is so attached to his things that I have found it literally impossible to let any of his things go.  Other things are more tied to my past and are a bit more complicated to explain.

I was going through the stuff in the dining room today.  Stuff like large bowls, bakeware, serving dishes...stuff you rarely use but when you do, you don't want to have to go out and buy it.  I found myself feeling irrationally angry that I really should just leave this stuff behind and get stuff there as I need it.  It's silly really since I generally only use that stuff on holidays and, since we will be so far away, it is doubtful I'll need all the large stuff for just the three of us.

As I'm typing this, I'm having a little "aha!" moment.  Maybe that's the whole point.  It will only be the three of us and rarely will the other kids be with us and probably never all at the same time.  Letting go of my huge salad bowl has somehow tied itself to letting go of my children, something I really don't want to do.

I didn't set out to have an epiphany while writing this...it just sort of happened, didn't it?  I have an awful lot to process now...